Category Archives: Parenting

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A Mysterious 1938 4th Grade Report Card

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This post is in the series Stories from Family Memorabilia, on researching family history, via odd objects and papers.

Today’s historical mystery is a 1938 4th Grade report card. It’s a strange report, from an odd location.

And as usual, I can’t pick up any old family paper without it stimulating my curiosity. Like Paul Harvey, the old American radio broadcaster, I want “the rest of the story.”

Despite the missing first name on this paper, I realize quickly I’m looking at my dad’s report card, since in 1938 he was 10 years old. Still, I noticed odd things about this report.

Harsh Teachers

For starters, one teacher’s comments were over-the-top insensitive. I’m not a fan of participation trophies, so mentioning he was sloppy or untidy was acceptable. But for his English teacher, H.D.H., to call him–any kid!–“lazy and unintelligent” raised my Mama hackles.

Dad as an adult was both industrious and bright, working as a creative landscape architect. So I put on my psych cap. (I formerly worked in both psychiatric and educational Occupational Therapy.) What the heck was going on with Dad at age 10?

Words from less harsh teachers described him in this report as “content with something much less than his best”, “aught to have done better”, “inclined to be erratic”, “rather mischievous”, disobedient, silly, slack, and forgetful. Ooooh, this is beginning to sound like a boy who had potential, but didn’t give a rip. But why?

Conversely, his French teacher wrote “He is keen and intelligent and well ahead for his age.” His Scripture teacher wrote “listens well and answers intelligently.” And while Dad was 10, the average age of the class was 11 years old. Hmm. I’ve worked with gifted children who misbehaved out of sheer boredom.

Children on the Move

Finally I notice the words at the top: Form: “Remove” and in the tiniest cursive imaginable at the bottom of the report, “Knowing he is leaving has unsettled him, I think.”

So Dad was leaving. To go where? And where, in the world (literally) was this school, teaching French and Latin to 4th graders?

The odds were high he had just come from another country, and soon leaving for another. You see, Dad was the son of an American foreign service officer. I have a list of dates of dates and places where Dad’s family lived.

This list below, created by one of Dad’s sisters, reveals that Dad moved four times in his first 10 years of life. Born in Winnipeg Canada, he then lived in Arlington Virginia, Trieste Italy, and Plymouth England, then later that same year to Lynchburg, VA.

List of places Don Winslow lived including Winnipeg, Canada, Trieste, Italy, and Plymouth England.
Dad was born in 1928. He lived in four countries before age ten.

Where was Ravenswood School?

The location of Ravenswood School puzzled me. In 1938 Dad lived in two places. Historical sites for Lynchburg don’t show any school by that name, yet four hours from there is the town of Ravenswood, West Virginia. Three schools there had the name Ravenswood.

I found in my ancestry app that while Dad was at Ravenswood (in January) his grandmother had died in Lynchburg.

So the Lynchburg timing was right. But wait! But why would they dump him in a school four hours away at age 10, unless it was a boarding school? They didn’t have boarding schools in WV, right?

Also unusual to me was the inclusion of Latin and French in an American 4th Grade classroom, even in 1938. The wording was weird too: “Form 4” instead of “Grade 4” with the school term was labeled “Easter.”

I called my lifeline (my brother) who said dad had been in a boarding school at some point in his life. So thinking the town of Ravenswood, WV might be a red herring, I Googled Plymouth, England. Lo and behold, there was a Ravenswood School in England, too.

Then began a deep dive for me down a dark hole for two days.

British boarding schools for 8-year olds?!

That Ravenswood was indeed a boarding school. And from the dates on the report card, I realized Dad had been there at ages 9 and 10. Possibly at even a younger age. WHAT?

Although my grandparents were American, it was particularly common for children of diplomats and others in working government service in other countries to send their children to boarding schools. The justification for it was that it would supposedly give children more stability and an excellent education.

But for some reason, I always thought this involved the teen years, not children still clutching teddy bears and wanting mom to read bedtime stories to them.

Then I found the website Boarding School Survivors: Therapeutic help for those affected by boarding, created by Nick Duffell, also author of the book The Making of Them: The British Attitude to Children and the Boarding School System.

I was shocked to finally understand one of the lines in tiny print at the bottom of Dad’s report card: “too many stripes for silly behavior and disobedience.” That meant beatings with a cane. I was also distressed reading about how much bullying and even more extreme abuse took place within early boarding schools, meted out by older children.

Dad, born in February, at the time of this report card was only 10 years and 1 month old, so the report was mostly about his behavior at age 9.

Boarding school documentaries reveal harsh truths

I then watched two documentaries on YouTube showing 8 year olds being sent off to boarding school in more recent years. I was disturbed by how it distressed those particularly young children. Leaving Home At Eight | Boarding School Children follows four little girls, and The Making of Them (1994) (also connected with Nick Duffell) several 8 and 9-year-old boys.

Listening to one little boy in the latter documentary broke my heart. He had quickly learned to shut down his emotions and be a brave little man. Boys who cried for their mothers were particularly targeted for bullying.

Strangely, those two modern documentaries revealed distress in some of the mothers who felt pressured to send their kids to boarding schools. They were truly persuaded it would be good for them. Some believed it would give their children more stability, what with the family moving often with Dad’s work. Many of these women had husbands who had been in boarding schools themselves, so for the fathers that was all they knew.

I urge you to watch those documentaries, but with a tissue handy.

Raising resilient kids at on the move

This deep dive has me appreciating the permission I always had, being an American, to educate my children in a variety of ways and even when moving to new locations. As a child, I moved every three years: Dad had apparently caught the moving bug.

I feel that caused growth in me as child and helped me to learn to adapt well. My husband and I while raising our three children lived in three different U.S. states and one other country (Norway.) Of course, it was not always easy for the kids changing schools. But they all grew into adults who love to travel.

Educationally, depending on each of my own child’s individual needs, we used a variety of methods. Our children experienced a mix of public school (including in Norway) and home school–depending on each one’s individual needs at the time–growing up to be brilliant and loving adults now teaching their own children to explore.

Fresh understanding

Now I know more than I wanted to know from a single piece of paper from my vintage paper pile. But it’s got me thinking about my dad and how it may have affected him.

It also has given me more insight into my Grandmother’s writings about living in British Raj, India. She had commented with some horror on young children being sent away from India to England to boarding schools, while both parents remained in India. Once they were shipped off, some children didn’t see their parents for years. Grandma had come from an extremely tight and loving family, so this shook her.

I want to weep for all the precious moments British moms missed (as did my Dad’s American mom) with their children in boarding school. Some of you know I wrote a book called Delight in Your Child’s Design (Second Edition, Kindle) so know my passion for that. I can only hope that those moms now know there are ways to educate children well, while keeping them close.

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Podcast Interview: Parenting Personalities and History

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For her Heart of the Matter podcast, Cynthia L. Simmons and I discussed parent-child personality differences and homeschooling. We also looked back through history at one 1930s mom’s parenting style.

Interview with Cynthia L. Simmons and Laurie Winslow Sargent: Heart of the Matter Radio

For the Oct 2, 2020 podcast, How to Delight in Your Child as You Homeschool, Cynthia asked me great questions related to the book Delight in Your Child’s Design. We talked about ways to inject more fun into parenting that allow children to learn more organically. In other words, when they’re having fun, they don’t always realize they’re also learning. We also talked about leaving a legacy of playful parenting, and about how in some ways parenting has changed little in a century. In this blog post I share a bit of what we discussed, plus a time capsule tip:

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1929: New Motherhood in Ooty

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In 1929, expat Gladys sent this sweet note on motherhood from Ooty, South India to her mother in Walla Walla, Washington.

Baby in a teddy bear suit.
Photo by Brytny.com on Unsplash

Today, I (Laurie) in 2020 had the delight of Skyping with my daughter and grand-babies. In this modern age of motherhood and grandmotherhood, I can see them instantly. I can even capture video or screenshots of them while we video-chat! My oldest granddaughter, 2 1/2 years old, is so accustomed to this she is mystified when we have a regular phone call. “Grandmama? Grandmama? I can’t see you!”

But nearly a century ago, news from Gladys to her mother about her babies took ages to arrive. Letters and photos traveled via very long, slow steamships from India to America.

She and her husband Ken, a forestry expert from Seattle, were living at Ootacamund Hill Station among British officers (and occasional royalty) during the British Raj era.

Gladys, who loved to write, used sweet prose to describe her newborn:

Braemar, Ootacamund Hill Station

7 May, 1929

Dear Mother and Dad,

I’ve just tucked Pamela, now seven weeks old, in her little bed. She is a fascinating little miss. The last I saw, she had both little hands flying back and forth and she was agoo-ing for all she was worth. Not a whimper when I left and the light went off. Her little bed is alongside ours so I know what she is doing. 

She is getting so plump — little dimples in her elbows and back and one below her little mouth at one corner. The other day, three children came to see her and she cooed and “talked” to them in the cunningest way I’ve ever seen. Babies seem to speak to other children in a language we do not understand.

Pamela as yet refuses to let us know what color her hair is, and whether it is to be straight or curly. Her first hair was brown and decidedly straight. Now her little head is covered with a fine down that at times looks yellow and at other times brown with auburn lights.

She has very keen eyes. When she awakens they just shine and she reminds me of a little bird. Her mouth is an adorable rosebud and she is just finding her tongue and loves making gurgling noises, and then looks so surprised and delighted. She is now placing the direction from which sounds come, like approaching footsteps. Most gratifying of all, she knows me.

The monsoon has come early. We have heavy rain every afternoon and evening. Tonight it simply pelted down. There was some hail in it. 

There are beautiful walks out from Braemar. Now the rain has settled the dust, it is nicer than ever. Sunday home mail brought by the last ship was a tremendous success: I got 11 letters. I scarcely know where to begin answering them.

I am knitting a pull-on teddy bear suit for baby for travel. Pamela sends a kiss to each of her grandparents, and says tell you she will be coming home to you soon for home leave. I also send love and much of it.

Your daughter, Gladys

From Laurie: Isn’t it funny that teddy bear outfits are still considered cute on babies? My own grand-babies have a few sweater hoods with bear ears!

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Quiz: Your Child’s Got Personality!

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Here’s a fun little quiz to help you appreciate your child’s strongest personality traits. (Excerpt from: Delight in Your Child’s Design)

Delight in Your Child's Design book cover image

Today, in honor of Mother’s Day, I’m momentarily departing from my current history/writing blogging themes. As a parenting author too, it’s hard to resist sharing this previously published book of mine, with its gorgeous cover created by Kendall Roderick. Because of course, all books are labors of love! They are our other “babies”.

I promise that with my next posts, I’ll get back to Gladys and her 1920s jungle adventures, with more stories like One Less Crocodile, A Naughty Baby Elephant and 1923: Ken in the Raj. But if you are a parent or grandparent, you may find this fun:

Regarding your child’s character traits, do you ever wonder: “Why does my child act this way?”

In some ways, determining your child’s personality is an inexact science. She is likely a blend of more than one personality type, and a child’s relationships and experiences also influence behavior.

This fun little quiz, written by Kim Miller (one of my superb former editors at Tyndale), was originally posted at my Parenting by Faith site. It has nine questions — after question 2, click Read More to see the rest of the quiz.

By answering these questions, can you can discern a pattern in your child’s behavior? That may help you understand and identify some of his or her strongest personality traits:

1. You can truthfully say, “I’d be a millionaire if only I could bottle and sell my child’s . . .”

a. optimism.
b. persistence.
c. kindness.
d. confidence.

2. Your son keeps you up until 2 a.m. the night before his school’s science fair because:

a. though he’s been talking for days about his great plans, he casually mentions over dinner that he hasn’t actually started his project yet.
b. he refuses to go to bed until you help him make sure that each planet in his model of the solar system is exactly to scale.
c. he spent so much time helping his best friend finish his project that he’s starting his own late.
d. he’s willing to sacrifice sleep in order to be sure his complicated and innovative project is better than anyone else’s—and will win the blue ribbon.

3. When you take your daughter to her first overnight camp, you are impressed because she:

a. charms her counselor and makes five new friends before she’s unpacked her bags.
b. completes all five levels of the Red Cross swimming safety course in just one week.
c. is able to restore peace to her cabin after one camper unfairly accuses another of swiping a CD.
d. organizes and emcees the final night’s camper talent show.

4. Your daughter comes home from school crying because:

a. a boy drew laughs after school by mimicking her enthusiastic cheering during the previous day’s football game.
b. despite carefully following all her teacher’s detailed directions, she received a C on her art project.
c. she watched another child being mercilessly teased on the bus ride home and was unable to stop the bullies from picking on that classmate.
d. she lost her class’s election for a seat on the student council.

5. When your child’s teacher tells you how much she enjoys having your son in class, it is most likely because:

a. he’s creative, cheerful, and comes up with great new ideas.
b. he doesn’t quit but keeps working on a project until it’s done right.
c. he listens calmly and intently in class and does everything he can to please his teachers.
d. he catches on to material quickly and enjoys teaching other kids what he knows.

6. At age four, your child likes playing in the big sandbox at the park because:

a. it is the best place to find a new friend to play with or someone else to talk to.
b. he loves to use his forty-eight-piece sand-castle kit to build intricate buildings.
c. he can see you sitting on the nearby bench at all times and knows you’ll step in to help if an older child tries to steal his toys.
d. he has a captive audience and can tell everyone else what to build.

7. Your child’s excuse for not cleaning her room on Saturday morning is that:

a. she wants to tell you all about your neighbor’s new puppy first.
b. there’s nothing to clean. You walk in her room and find out she’s right—everything is already clean and neatly organized.
c. she’s unsure where to start.
d. she shouldn’t have to clean her room until you start cleaning the rest of the house.

8. When you ask your child whether he’d like to return to your family’s favorite vacation spot or take a sightseeing tour to New York City this summer, here is his reaction:

a. New York City! Maybe he’ll actually run into celebrities when your family walks down Broadway. In fact, maybe one of them will even invite him to a casting call!
b. He’d prefer to return to the same resort, where he knows the schedule and what to expect each day of the week.
c. He’d choose your family’s traditional spot; it holds warm memories for him.
d. He would pick New York City. It will be a new adventure, and he can already tell you the four sites your family must not miss.

9. Other people are always remarking on your child’s:

a. energy and enthusiasm.
b. attention to detail.
c. thoughtfulness.
d. leadership ability.

If you circled mostly a’s, your child is likely to be primarily interested in being with other people and having fun.

If you circled mostly b’s, your child is probably tends to focus most on getting things just right.

If you circled mostly c’s, your child most likely cares deeply about others’ feelings.

If you circled mostly d’s, your child probably most values adventure and being the leader.

Note: Many children have several characteristics from several of these types.

For loads of tips and ideas for encouraging a child’s positive personality traits and dealing with parent-child personality conflicts, check out the book Delight in Your Child’s Design.

Also, don’t forget to subscribe to Writing Tips and History Tidbits (subscriber form, top right) if you’re a fan of quirky, fun posts — including those history related — and enjoy creative nonfiction writing tips.

SPECIAL GIFT!

By the way, I’m offering something special to my readers to help celebrate Mother’s Day everyday in May. If you download the Kindle version of this book, I’d be pleased to mail you a signed first edition paperback (published by Tyndale/Focus on the Family) for free. (Free shipping to US addresses only.)

Use my Contact form here at CrossConnectMedia.com to send me your mailing address (or that of a mom friend or teacher) with details about your Kindle purchase. I can even gift wrap the paperback if you like.

Laurie Winslow Sargent