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Quiz: Your Child’s Got Personality!

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Here’s a fun little quiz to help you appreciate your child’s strongest personality traits. (Excerpt from: Delight in Your Child’s Design)

Delight in Your Child's Design book cover image

Today, in honor of Mother’s Day, I’m momentarily departing from my current history/writing blogging themes. As a parenting author too, it’s hard to resist sharing this previously published book of mine, with its gorgeous cover created by Kendall Roderick. Because of course, all books are labors of love! They are our other “babies”.

I promise that with my next posts, I’ll get back to Gladys and her 1920s jungle adventures, with more stories like One Less Crocodile, A Naughty Baby Elephant and 1923: Ken in the Raj. But if you are a parent or grandparent, you may find this fun:

Regarding your child’s character traits, do you ever wonder: “Why does my child act this way?”

In some ways, determining your child’s personality is an inexact science. She is likely a blend of more than one personality type, and a child’s relationships and experiences also influence behavior.

This fun little quiz, written by Kim Miller (one of my superb former editors at Tyndale), was originally posted at my Parenting by Faith site. It has nine questions — after question 2, click Read More to see the rest of the quiz.

By answering these questions, can you can discern a pattern in your child’s behavior? That may help you understand and identify some of his or her strongest personality traits:

1. You can truthfully say, “I’d be a millionaire if only I could bottle and sell my child’s . . .”

a. optimism.
b. persistence.
c. kindness.
d. confidence.

2. Your son keeps you up until 2 a.m. the night before his school’s science fair because:

a. though he’s been talking for days about his great plans, he casually mentions over dinner that he hasn’t actually started his project yet.
b. he refuses to go to bed until you help him make sure that each planet in his model of the solar system is exactly to scale.
c. he spent so much time helping his best friend finish his project that he’s starting his own late.
d. he’s willing to sacrifice sleep in order to be sure his complicated and innovative project is better than anyone else’s—and will win the blue ribbon.

3. When you take your daughter to her first overnight camp, you are impressed because she:

a. charms her counselor and makes five new friends before she’s unpacked her bags.
b. completes all five levels of the Red Cross swimming safety course in just one week.
c. is able to restore peace to her cabin after one camper unfairly accuses another of swiping a CD.
d. organizes and emcees the final night’s camper talent show.

4. Your daughter comes home from school crying because:

a. a boy drew laughs after school by mimicking her enthusiastic cheering during the previous day’s football game.
b. despite carefully following all her teacher’s detailed directions, she received a C on her art project.
c. she watched another child being mercilessly teased on the bus ride home and was unable to stop the bullies from picking on that classmate.
d. she lost her class’s election for a seat on the student council.

5. When your child’s teacher tells you how much she enjoys having your son in class, it is most likely because:

a. he’s creative, cheerful, and comes up with great new ideas.
b. he doesn’t quit but keeps working on a project until it’s done right.
c. he listens calmly and intently in class and does everything he can to please his teachers.
d. he catches on to material quickly and enjoys teaching other kids what he knows.

6. At age four, your child likes playing in the big sandbox at the park because:

a. it is the best place to find a new friend to play with or someone else to talk to.
b. he loves to use his forty-eight-piece sand-castle kit to build intricate buildings.
c. he can see you sitting on the nearby bench at all times and knows you’ll step in to help if an older child tries to steal his toys.
d. he has a captive audience and can tell everyone else what to build.

7. Your child’s excuse for not cleaning her room on Saturday morning is that:

a. she wants to tell you all about your neighbor’s new puppy first.
b. there’s nothing to clean. You walk in her room and find out she’s right—everything is already clean and neatly organized.
c. she’s unsure where to start.
d. she shouldn’t have to clean her room until you start cleaning the rest of the house.

8. When you ask your child whether he’d like to return to your family’s favorite vacation spot or take a sightseeing tour to New York City this summer, here is his reaction:

a. New York City! Maybe he’ll actually run into celebrities when your family walks down Broadway. In fact, maybe one of them will even invite him to a casting call!
b. He’d prefer to return to the same resort, where he knows the schedule and what to expect each day of the week.
c. He’d choose your family’s traditional spot; it holds warm memories for him.
d. He would pick New York City. It will be a new adventure, and he can already tell you the four sites your family must not miss.

9. Other people are always remarking on your child’s:

a. energy and enthusiasm.
b. attention to detail.
c. thoughtfulness.
d. leadership ability.

If you circled mostly a’s, your child is likely to be primarily interested in being with other people and having fun.

If you circled mostly b’s, your child is probably tends to focus most on getting things just right.

If you circled mostly c’s, your child most likely cares deeply about others’ feelings.

If you circled mostly d’s, your child probably most values adventure and being the leader.

Note: Many children have several characteristics from several of these types.

For loads of tips and ideas for encouraging a child’s positive personality traits and dealing with parent-child personality conflicts, check out the book Delight in Your Child’s Design.

Also, don’t forget to subscribe to Writing Tips and History Tidbits (subscriber form, top right) if you’re a fan of quirky, fun posts — including those history related — and enjoy creative nonfiction writing tips.

SPECIAL GIFT!

By the way, I’m offering something special to my readers to help celebrate Mother’s Day everyday in May. If you download the Kindle version of this book, I’d be pleased to mail you a signed first edition paperback (published by Tyndale/Focus on the Family) for free. (Free shipping to US addresses only.)

Use my Contact form here at CrossConnectMedia.com to send me your mailing address (or that of a mom friend or teacher) with details about your Kindle purchase. I can even gift wrap the paperback if you like.

Laurie Winslow Sargent

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1923: Ken in the Raj

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While Gladys worked as a physical education teacher in San Diego, she received letters from India describing strange and wonderful tales. Ken, hoping for romance, had finally gotten her attention.

Envelope postmarked from India, Taj Mahal Hotel Bombay. Addressed to Miss Gladys Gose c/o Roosevelt High School, San Diego, California, U.S.A.
Taj Mahal Hotel Bombay, 1923

In 1915, Ken and Gladys had been classmates at Walla Walla High, in Washington State. He’d grown up among various lumber mills, educated in one-room school houses in the Northwest. (One day as a child, in a small sawdust town, he’d sat on his dad’s shoulders while witnessing a gunfight. )

Gladys, a year older than Ken, paid him little notice. After high school graduation (he at only age 16, as he was quite brilliant) their friendship grew at the University of Washington in Seattle.

But it wasn’t until 1923 that Gladys began to eagerly tear open his letters. Ken, with his degree in forestry and logging engineering, had been hired by the government of India.

Ken sent this letter to Gladys from India, ten days after his arrival:

J. Kenneth Pearce, Taj Mahal Hotel, Bombay, to

Miss Gladys Gose, ℅ Roosevelt Junior High School, San Diego, California, U.S.A.

7 Oct, 1923

Dear Glad:

I like India! At least from all I’ve seen of it so far. Everything is big and airy and cool — you don’t notice the heat nearly as much as in the states, because your whole life accords with tropical conditions.

Our hotel room is as large as an ordinary cottage in the states, with a ceiling twice as high. Electric fans all around instead of windows. Plenty of good cooling “likker” (no prohibition, here!) and the crowning convenience of all, a “bearer” (a Travancore Hindu) who acts as my valet, butler and servant extraordinaire.

He takes care of all my belongings, prepares my bath, puts on my shoes, lays out my clothes, takes care of my luggage while traveling, etc., etc., all for the princely sum of 40 Rupees or about $13.00 a month. He has been an army officer’s servant for many years – through the Mespot Campaign and in France.

In addition, the Government furnishes me a “tour clerk” or private secretary, who looks after my traveling arrangements, accounts, correspondence, etc.  He is also an interpreter in Tamil, Telugu, Hindi, Malayan and English — the prevalent language in South India. 

The government also supplies me three “duffadors” or orderlies who stand outside my door, run errands, convey messages, and do everything I, the “Sahib” desires. It keeps me busy sometimes finding work for all my staff to do!

Railway travel (First Class) in India affords a luxury unapproached by anything in the U.S. short of a private car. Each compartment is the entire width of the car, with two big leather lounges instead of seats (you carry your own bedding), a private showerbath and electric fans. A servant’s compartment adjoins so someone is always at my call.

Haven’t been in the jungle yet (only got to India Sept 29th), as it takes some time to get a kit together and must first make rounds and get acquainted with all the Gov’t officials, Ministers, Secretaries, etc., etc., with whom it is well to be on good terms.

I wrote to you from France, then either Belgium or Germany, and Port Said, I believe. Hope you got the letters. I sent them ℅ your sister at Seattle, but lost the street number, so just put Ravenna Blvd.

The Red Sea lived up to its reputation as being one of the hottest places in the world, to the extent that one of the native ship’s coal stokers (a Punjabi) jumped overboard. Our voyage across the Indian Ocean was calm and quite uneventful except a fancy dress (masquerade) ball at which I portrayed an American flapper — most successful — but to the horror of the missionaries. One of them–you won’t believe this—graduated from Whitman in ’19.

 I was very glad to get your letter of 4 Sept on my arrival in India. I hope your work continues interesting and all life likewise. And remember I’m always hoping to hear from you.

Cheerio! (as we Britishers say)

Ken

Note from Laurie, (nearly 100 years later): I can’t resist giggling at the image of my grandpa, as a young man, dressing up as a flapper during that costume party aboard the steamship!

This was the beginning of a ten-year adventure for Ken; seven for Gladys when she finally sailed off to marry him. Want to be sure you read future posts with their wild and funny stories? Click my Subscribe box (top right on this page) to get new posts via email, or subscribe via WordPress Reader.

Did you miss these previous posts?

1918: A Day She Beat the Boys — In 1918, Gladys was not to be deterred from winning the race against the frat boys, so she ditched her cumbersome ladies’ “swim dress”.

A Naughty Baby Elephant — When elephant Kitty gave birth to the first baby elephant born in Nedangayam lumber camp in S. Malabar India, Kitty’s Baby became a beloved pet to all — until she outgrew her welcome.

1929: Dearest Funny Baby — Kenneth — 91 years ago — wrote this note to his wife and new child when all were confined to home. Ken and Gladys, Americans, were expats in Ooty, India and their home called Braemar.

One Less Crocodile — This 1926 jungle story is from the diary of Gladys Gose Pearce, a Seattle woman who lived with spouse Ken in India during the British Raj era.

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May Day! May Day! A Mother’s Goof

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A little story about one mother’s wake-up call, when a sweet gift from her child almost went unnoticed.

Photo by Ksenia Makagonova

This story was adapted from a passage in the book The Power of Parent-Child Play. It was also previously published in Facets for Women magazine.

Six-year-old Tyler typically burst in the door after school, proudly exclaiming, “Look at my math paper!” or waving a dinosaur diorama for me to ooh and aah over.

Other days he dragged in, downcast, needing a hug and a neon green Band-Aid after a fall from the monkey bars. 

Once he came in quietly, sporting a gorgeous smile with gaps from missing teeth, whispering to me about his girlfriend, while revealing a stick figure drawing of them smooching. (I could smile, but didn’t dare laugh.)

I usually tried to be available to him after school, as that was a good time for us to connect. But I was to learn the hard way how meaningful that was to my son.

One day, my eyes were magnetized to the computer screen, my hands to the keyboard. I’d frantically worked for hours to meet a deadline. Suddenly the slamming of the front door, down the hall, startled me. With shock and disbelief, I checked my watch. Three o’clock already?

Oh, no! I slapped my hand to my forehead. I was supposed to have picked up my toddler Aimee at the sitter’s house at 2:30! I could have kicked myself for not watching the time.

I flew out of the office, tossing papers in my knee-deep TO FILE pile as I went. “Hey, Tyler! We’ve got to run and get your sister.” No answer. Where could that kid be?

I heard footsteps thump-thump up stairs, and called again impatiently. “Come on, honey…I’ve got to get going.”

Slam! There went the front door again. What? I thought he was upstairs! But through our front window, I glimpsed his small figure hiding behind a bush. I lost what was left of my cool, stomped to the door, and opened it. I yelled, “Tyler, you get in here right now! I’m late picking up Aimee!”

He flew into the house at my request. But to my astonishment, he stormed past me to the bottom of our stairs, sat and crumpled into a ball, sobbing hysterically.

I was flabbergasted. “What’s the matter, honey?”

He sat upright and cried out, “Don’t you know it’s May Day?”

Baffled, I said, “What do you mean?”

Tears streamed down his dusty face as he wailed, “How come you didn’t pick it up? You opened the door, and you didn’t even pick it up!”

Confused, I went to the front porch. There lay a droopy dandelion on the mud-caked doormat: minus the petals, but an accusing yellow beacon, nonetheless. 

Photo by Markus Spiske

As I picked up his surprise, guilt crashed down on me. My excuses dribbled out weakly: about deadlines, and stress, and promises to sitters, and it was still April not yet May, and I’d never been given a May flower, and …

I then realized how stupid my reasoning must have sounded to a child whose surprise had gone unnoticed. his act of love unappreciated. And he’d gotten yelled at, to boot.

I told him how sorry I was, reaching for him. He pushed me away and continued to cry. I asked his forgiveness, thanked him for his thoughtfulness, told him how much I loved him

Gradually his slender back stopped shaking. His cries dwindled to sniffles. He allowed me to hug him as he fiddled with the untied laces on his GI Joe sneakers. Finally he stood, and as I pulled him toward me, he buried his face in my shirt. I stroked his hair, and he leaned into me limply.

With great ceremony, I placed his dandelion into an empty 7-Up bottle with a little water. I set it on the windowsill. Sunlight glistened through the green container with its yellow-petaled crown. On the way to the sitter’s house I bought him an ice cream bar to show my appreciation in a tangible way. 

As we chatted in the car, tension dissipated out the open car windows. He offered me a bite of his treat, and I knew we were okay with each other again. Yet I also knew that at 3:05 the next day I had an appointment to keep with my son.

Even now when I hear the distress cry “May Day! May Day!” in military movies, I recall the moment my distraction and busyness created real distress in my child, and I nearly missed seeing his gift, lovingly chosen for me. 

I suspect that I’m not the only one who’s experienced a crash-and-burn moment as a parent. But children do forgive, and they treasure time given them. In your own family, your schedule and your child’s needs will dictate when it’s best for you two to connect. But it’s also a matter of choice. Plan for it. Savor it! And don’t be surprised when in a sudden, tender moment, your child startles you in a special way, bouncing back the affection you’ve tossed his way over and over again.

Here’s an image of my son at that age, when I made him laugh. How could I not make time for that? Thankfully, those are the memories that most stick. Yes, like all moms, I goofed at times. But I can forgive myself and treasure the joyous times! You do the same.

Laurie

Limited, signed copies of the hardcover book The Power of Parent-Child Play are available in new condition from the author for $10, through PayPal: free shipping if mailed within the USA. Book includes 5-Minute-Fun activities for quick spurts of parent-child play. (Original price: $16.97)

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Writing for Chicken Soup for the Soul

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Authors, one way to get your true personal stories published is through Chicken Soup for the Soul, LLC. Here’s a list of benefits in writing for that company, plus details about a few prolific Chicken Soup story writers.

Chicken Soup for the Soul books with stories by Laurie Winslow Sargent

A Chicken Soup for the Soul story is an inspirational, true story about ordinary people having extraordinary experiences. It is a story that opens the heart and rekindles the spirit. ”  ~ chickensoup.com

I recently was published for the fifth time by this company, including back when the imprint was HCI (Health Communications, Inc.) with Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield. Now CCS (Chicken Soup for the Soul, Inc.) is headed up by Amy Newmark.

However, I “ain’t nuthin’ ” compared to other prolific Chicken Soup writers in my one small North Carolina critique group. Our group has so many published stories (29 stories, so far, with more in the works) our group has been dubbed “The Chicken Coop”.

The decided winner so far, in number of published stories from our group, is Nancy Emmick Panko with 14 CSS stories. The other 15 stories are spread out among five more of us: Terry Hans, Barbara Bennett, Dea Irby, JoAnne Check, and myself. (I’ll share a list of their stories in a moment and links to books they were in.) But part of that success is our group’s familiarity with what “makes” a Chicken Soup story, and what doesn’t.

Be sure to read at the chickensoup.com website their writer’s guidelines for submission. They receive so many submissions, competition can be tough. In our group we’ve also submitted other stories that didn’t make it. Only 101 stories are chosen per book, after many other submissions are weeded out so it’s truly an honor to be included. The stories go through selection rounds until it gets down to the final 101.

Here are some advantages to writing for this publisher:

  • It’s a great way to be in a book without having to write a whole book, and you get into print fairly quickly.
  • Author bios at the end of the book are generous, and can include author book titles and contact info.
  • Payment is nice: $200 for stories (up to 1200 words long). They also currently send 10 free copies of the book, plus discounts on more to sell if you like.
  • The company is great about suggesting ways to promote the books and engaging their authors in that. One current way is through Twitter parties. The also have a digest just for their authors to spotlight how some are helping promote the books.
  • It’s a great way to get a story of yours visible by many more readers than one of your own books might generate — stories you want to encourage as many people as possible. (This has been my favorite benefit, because I love to share stories about amazing ways God has answered prayers.)
  • It builds your author credits and helps readers become familiar with your author name.

How to submit to Chicken Soup for the Soul:

Check out Chicken Soup for the Soul’s Possible Book Topics page with current titles the publisher is seeking submissions for. It’s kept updated, with deadlines and usually has 3-5 books in the works. There’s an additional tab to submit your story right there online. (Edit it first –maybe with your own critique group!)

But WAIT! Bookmark this page so you can check out these Chicken Soup titles, some you may already own, and read stories by my group members who I’m so proud of.

By the way, another book, The Ultimate Dog Lover (2008) was a spin-off book by HCI, so not technically a Chicken Soup book. It’s worth mentioning because another terrific thing this publisher does is send requests to their existing authors for more material. Sometimes that’s an email with more detail about needs for upcoming books. However, in this case, it was a request for photos. My beloved dog Nikki earned a full-page in the book; her photo happened to be on my computer desktop the day I got the email request. Very serendipitous.

You might enjoy our joint Bio at the end of that book, which became its own story:

Laurie Winslow Sargent is an author specializing in family play–including play with her four-year-old miniature American Eskimo Mix, Nikki. Nikki loves soccer (catching the ball in the air with her front paws, dribbling, and blocking on command) and bounce-passing a basketball. She wipes her feet on a mat (for a treat!) and hops into her crate when she hears the AOL “Good-bye!”. Best of all, when her family returns from work or school, Nikki greets them with and excited “Hi!” The sound initially occurred as a yawn, that coincidentally sounded like the word.

That AOL reference is a clue to how long we ladies have been writing!

Your turn! Write On.

Laurie Winslow Sargent